Two years ago, I was an unemployed recent graduate with no clue what I wanted to do with my life.
Earlier this week, while giving my inbox a deep cleanse, I found a conversation I had with my friend back in August 2013. Being recent graduates we were both familiar with the question of "what are you going to do with your life?" After my rant about the inanity of that question, my friend posed the following situation: what would you say if someone just came up to you and asked you what you do.
Here was my answer (more accurately, my attempt to dodge the question):
"Well, I'm a protagonist. I'd say my job is to fight evil, have adventures, struggle with my inner demons, make rash decisions, prevail against impossible odds, and eventually live happily ever after (unless this is some bleak existential story where I just die).
But that's just a fancy way of saying that my passion is life and everything that comes with it. I live for the tears in my mom's eyes on the day I graduate. I live for a good book. I live for that time my friends and I drank a little too much and emerged from an eternal hangover with a tale for reunions to come.
I live for smiles.
I live for a steaming cup of hot coffee. I live to run around in a sunny meadow, spinning her round and round until we're both dizzy, until we both fall to the ground, laughing, kissing. Happy. I live to see my newborn son smile for the first time, throw a baseball with my daughter, and take them both to their first Yankees game.
But I will also experience pain and loss.
I dread the day she informs me that she no longer loves me, leaving me standing alone in an apartment that feels empty without her things, with a soul vacant without her heart. I fear my parents' last breath. I'm anxious about the day I stand at my door waving to my children as they drive away and start lives of their own. I'm afraid of sickness. Lastly, I fear the day my passion will be taken away from me, for life is everything to me.
But what do I know?
I've always thought you couldn't really judge something unless you've tried it once. Perhaps death isn't so bad. But I don't plan to find out anytime soon.
Until then, my story continues."
Two years later, I'm still not sure what I want to do with my life. However, the path I took has been exciting.
At this point in my story, I'm a world away from NYC, working abroad in Dublin, Ireland. I've learned and experienced so much these last two years.
However, there's still so much to do...